I hear it almost everyday, you look too young to have a daughter that age. Well, it's true. I am too young to have a daughter that age.
I don't get offended. It's just life of someone who had their daughter at 16.
So I wanted to write a post that goes deep into my personal life but hey, that's what blogging is all about. Right?
Back in 2001, I was sixteen and I got pregnant by my first real boyfriend. Que the MTV song for "16 and Pregnant." haha, (I absolutely hate that show). I was so ashamed of myself. To be honest, I hid my pregnancy for a long time from my family. I didn't tell my mom and dad until I was 5 months pregnant. I know, that was very stupid and Victoria could have been at risk. I was just so afraid that I would be a huge disappointment. I was afraid that they would look at me different and treat me different.
Once I got the guts to tell my parents, of course they were disappointed but I knew they would be there for me. It just came to a shock to them because I never really got into trouble. My mom had to share the news with my principal just in case something went wrong. Then some of my teachers asked me if I was coming back the next year. I was very offended by that. I mean, why would they ask me that. Just because I got pregnant, does that mean I was going to ruin my life and not finish school. Absolutely not!
I only told only my close friends at school. Last thing that I wanted was to be a stereo type. I am sure people found out anyways. Once school ended in June, I was 7 months pregnant wearing loose fitting clothes so nobody would notice. But that was the end of that. My stomach popped!
I delivered a healthy baby girl in August. It was nothing dramatic. To be honest, it was as easy as a labor and delivery could get. Two weeks, later, I went back to school as a junior and I acted as nothing happened,
For the next two years, I went to school every day. At night, I either went to work, took night classes to finish school early, or got to spend time with my daughter. I have no idea how I did all of that. Maybe it was determination or just doing what I needed to do to survive.
If it wasn't for my parents, I don't know what I would have done. My mom and stepdad took care of Victoria while I was at work or at night school. Victoria's father watched her on the weekends while I worked. My big sister, April and my best friend, Jessamyn also helped out with Victoria . They all were my saviors.
So we made it work. Victoria's dad and I were broke, but we made it work. I graduated high school and went straight to working full time as a waitress. Every once in awhile, I worked a second job. I put college on hold so I could pay bills. Victoria's father and I broke up when she was two. We were too young and just not right for one another.
Then came along a cute guy named Christian when I was 21. He was going into his senior year in college. We meet while we both bar-tended at the same bar. I know romantic right? haha Well, it was for us. He treated me the way a woman should be treated.
As great as life felt, I had a horrible feeling that I was ruining his life. I mean, think about it. I was a 21 year old bartender/waitress, with a child, and just trying to make ends meet. I felt like I was holding him back. I mean, what did friends think about our relationship? Their fraternity brother had a girlfriend with a 4 year old. What did his parents think?
Well, it didn't seem to bother him. He was there for us. He guided me to start college. He helped me get my financial situation under control. Christian treated my daughter like his own. He even took us to Disney World a year and a half into the relationship. From day one, he has always been there for the two of us!
Two years later, we decided that we hated wasting our money renting a crappy apartment and we bought a house. It was the house of our dreams and we weren't even engaged yet. (I know, it sounds stupid but we just knew we would last forever.) We moved into a great neighborhood with great schools but we were broke as a joke. I still don't know how we did it to this day. I was only 23 years old. I never in a million years would have imagined owning my own home at that age.
Let's fast forward a bit. A year later, Christian proposed to me. Two years later, we got married in Vegas by Elvis. YES, ELVIS! We like to have fun and we didn't want to spend a fortune on a wedding. It was the best decision! (I will blog about that later :)
So after all these years of raising a daughter at such a young age, I have learned a lot. I have learned that I do not have the patience to have another child. I'm just being honest. Victoria has always been a little cute, dramatic girl who is the equivalent to two girls!
Victoria is what I call "a vegetarian who hates veggies." We have to be on top of her about grades and classwork every single day! She loves to spend money and thinks it grows on trees. She tells us everyday that she is moving out of state to go to college (That's not what her college fund says).
With all of the bad, there is so much good. She makes me work harder every day. I dedicated my life to that not-so-little girl the day I had her. On days her hormones aren't going crazy, she is the funniest girl I know and such a joy to be around.
Victoria and I have a very open relationship. She can tell me anything and I am here to give advice or just listen. One thing I have learned being a young mother is to do everything in my power to be as open-minded as possible and accept that my child will grow up and become an adult. Life is going to happen rather I approve of it or not. I accept all that Victoria is becoming and I plan to give her advice when she needs it.
And NO I am not the cool mom who drinks with their teenager and parties with them. I am her mother who is here on this earth to guide her child and hope that I did all that she needs to become a wonderful, responsible woman. Teenagers have enough friends. Parents need to be parents and not friends.
Of course, I wish I wasn't a stupid teenager who was irresponsible and got pregnant. I wish I waited until I was older, had a career, and a house before I had a child but life happens and you learn from it. I don't regret having Victoria. She has been the best thing in my life. We had to grow up together. In the end, it has worked out so far and I believe the best is yet to come.
Thanks for stopping by :)