Every Tuesday at 9 p.m., I watch the show "This is Us' on NBC with my 16 year old daughter. It is one show that we both love. Let's be honest, it's the only show that we both watch together. Our taste of shows are a bit different. I don't care to watch MTV reality shows and The Kardashians and she doesn't care to watch "Fixer Upper." It's a mutual agreement.
But last night's show on " This is Us" really spoke to me. If you haven't seen it, you may want to stop reading because here's a bit of a spoiler alert.
Well, Kevin is in rehab for abusing alcohol and pills and the whole family is in therapy with him to help him recover. Kevin goes to tell his family how he honestly feels and why he thinks he took this hard path in life. He goes to say that he wasn't the favorite of all the kids and mom and dad didn't give him the same attention that Randal and Kate got. I can see his point but mid way, his mom (played by the amazing Mandy Moore) screams out that he was the hardest kid out of the three and he hated her for no reason but to hate her. Sounds horrible right? But she makes total sense! The show then goes into the past and describes all the ways Kevin was just a grumpy kid who was pretty hard to satisfy.
Gosh, I can really relate to that. Unlike "This is Us," I only have one child. A child who acts like she hates me most of the time. You see, we don't live your "Leave it to Beaver" life in the suburbs. It may appear that way sometimes but we are far from it. We are a family of three who work hard to live a happy life but there are some hiccups of course. Everyone sees our social media as a happy go lucky family who is always laughing. But let's be real. Life is tough sometimes. I have a teenager who is mad at me 95% of the time. She rolls her eyes on a daily. She reminds me of Kevin so much it's crazy. No matter what I say, I have upset her in some kind of way. Being that she is sixteen, I let her get away with some things but the minute she disrespects us, I will raise my voice to let her know that is not okay. There is one major thing I learned from my momma when I was a kid was to NEVER-EVER disrespect another adult especially the one that cares for you.
I always see these mom blogs that apologize for yelling at their kid. I get it, kids can frustrate the crap out of you and you yell at them. I would love for everyone to stop apologizing! It part of parenting. Granted my mother never really yelled at me but I was a very obedient child (seriously, you can ask her.) But not all kids are like that. Most kids aren't. Most kids are like Kevin. They think the world evolves around them and they think they are entitled to everything.
Well, they are not! They are entitled to a shelter, food, and clothing (and love of course) provided by the parent but nothing else. Kids need to learn that they have to work in life to get what they want. It is not the parents job to say yes to everything and get them the name brand clothes they want. I will be the first one to tell you that Victoria always tells everyone she has no clothes. That is one big lie. She has a closet full of clothes but she chooses to wear only a few items. Not my problem. Another thing, she will not be getting a car until she can pay her car insurance. I can see a lot of parents disagreeing with me on this but my parents gave me a 1990 Ford Probe that was $400 but I had to pay for my own gas and insurance. Do you think I throw a fit? HECK NO! I got a car! That's how this generation must learn! They are not going to learn but everything being handed to them!
Us, moms and dads, can feel like we are the bad guy in the family a lot because we have to law down the law and say no on the daily. We want to see our children happy all the time but that is just impossible! Victoria is not happy a lot of time because she doesn't like my rules and she can be hard to please. But you know what, one day she will come to me (probably when she has kids of her own), and tell me thank you for not giving into her. As a parent, it is not our job to make our kids happy 100% of the time! It is our job to get them prepared for adulthood and hope that we did right by them!
Another thing I learned off of this show, is that every child has a different personality. No matter if you raised them the same way, one can hate you while the other loves you to pieces. It's crazy how that works but it also amazing to see just how different they are. Just like Kevin on the show, his mom says that even though he was the hardest, she never had to worry about him because he was so independent but she regrets that because being that he was so independent, she didn't think she needed to love on him as much as the other kids. I know I try my best to give my daughter hugs and she doesn't hug me back. But as long as she knows I am always there if she needs one.
Bottom line, parenting his the hardest job on Earth, but as long as you are doing your best, it will be okay!
This is Us!!!!